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Archive for July, 2018

Be careful what you research

July 23rd, 2018 at 06:09 am

About six weeks ago, I started researching my mother's family. I knew my paternal grandfather divorced my grandmother and allowed her second husband (who I always considered my grandfather) to adopt the kids. As I have taken care of grandma, one of my aunts and I have become very close. She filled in a couple of missing names for me. I ran with it and found out more than I bargained for. Apparently, I have a knack for this. For less confusion, biological grandfather is H. from this point, and the man I knew as my grandfather is E.

-My mom and her siblings have a half brother and sister via H. There was a rumor he might have more kids, but no one knew for sure or where to look. It took four weeks but after I finally found out their mother's maiden name, I found them. There is no doubt. I have seen their photos and have solid proof H. is their father. They live in the south.

-H. who was a jerk, was also a narcissist. He named his second son a Jr. My uncle (from first marriage, my mom's full brother) was also a jr. (although they renamed him during the adoption). Who names two kids the same name?

-H. died in the 70s of cancer. His second wife never divorced him. I wonder what she knew. I assume nothing. She seemed pretty religious.

-I am pretty sure my grandma and H. were never legally married. I can find no records, but I found his record of signing up for the service. He is listed as single, yet this was just a few months before my uncle was born. The marriages of the year they were supposedly married are public in our state, but there is nothing.

-Onto my grandfather, E. He had two kids too. There was a rumor of this but we were all told he was sterile and figured their mother lied about it. However, I found them too and I have seen photos. I would bet money they are E.'s biological kids.

-E.'s two biological kids were born during his marriage to my grandmother. They live locally.

-Yesterday, I was quite upset to find E. married the biological kids mom FOUR weeks before he married my grandma (This is via the actual county record). So, my grandfather who I idolized was a bigamist. He married them in two different states which I guess is why it was never found out.

So here I am full of info and not sure what to share and not share with my family. My aunt feels it is a dishonor to my grandma to say anything while she is living even though she has dementia. She wants to share after she passes. I feel my mom and other siblings have a right to know there is another brother and sister via H.. However, I don't know if I want everyone to know E. was a bigamist. Was the adoption even legal for that matter if he married the other wife a month before my grandma? The adoption was two years later. And who the hell adopts four kids, treats them like gold and has two biological kids he doesn't bother with for the most part? On a side note, my aunt said there was rumor he used to eat breakfast once a month with the biological daughter.

My aunt has the marriage certificate of grandma and E. and it looks fake. It probably was. I am so sad. My poor grandma was duped twice.

What would you want to know if this was your history? I am struggling with this info and what to keep between me and my aunt and what to share. I will probably delete this post in a couple of days to be on the safe side, but I felt I needed unbiased opinions.





Paid off Personal Loan 1 and Other Updates

July 12th, 2018 at 05:25 am

I cashed out for a $25 (cost was 2200 SB, equivalent to $22) Southwest gift card on Swagbucks yesterday. Once I receive it, I will purchase my plane ticket for Vegas. I reserved my room. They only held $76 up front, but I have the rest set aside. The room came to just under $95 per night after taxes and resort fees. I am told this is good for Vegas.

I paid off personal loan 1 this week. I mailed the check on Monday. I also paid another $67.50 to personal loan 2 (I pay twice a month). I have a payment set up for the IRS at the end of the month. I don't recall if it was $50 or $60. Either way, I believe I can knock it out by September.

On the health front, I was fasting 12 hours per day. I have upped that to 14, as research shows this is the best way to go.

I am finishing up laundry and packing up. I leave my grandma's around 12:30 today (until Sunday afternoon). My son, grandson and I are heading to the county fair on our way home (They were at my parents). My daughter-in-law and granddaughter are on their way to Texas for her sister's wedding.

Tomorrow I set myself up to try doing work for Instacart. I am not really looking forward to it, but I want to give it a try. I also set up 5 mystery shops near home this weekend. I want these debts paid off!

Debt Repayment

July 2nd, 2018 at 06:38 pm

I have student loans on deferment until September, which I will track at a later date. I had a few other debts that were fairly small and I don't even think I mentioned them much, if at all. I won't get into the specifics. The point is they need to be paid. I started paying on them May 1st. I have updated my sidebar and will continue to do so.

Assuming there are no major issues, the plan is as follows on those debts:

Personal Loan 1 will be paid off by August 1st.

The IRS debt will be paid off by October 1st.

Personal loan 2 will be paid off by December 15th.