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Merry Christmas!

December 25th, 2020 at 11:48 pm

It's been awhile. I will update on my finances shortly. First and foremost, Merry Christmas everyone.  I hope you can enjoy this holiday season to some extent.

I am still NED (remission), so that was one good thing in this horrid year. I would also appreciate good thoughts/prayers for my best friend who is in the hospital with covid. She is currently on oxygen and steroids. Long story, but she was so careful. Her husband let his guard down once, and that was all it took. I had one exposure to them (five minuts with a mask and at a distance before we knew they had it), but thankfully I am negative.

 

Life Update

August 16th, 2020 at 06:27 pm

I have been trying to figure out a new normal. It has not been easy. I feel like I do not have a purpose when I am not working. It is hard to stay focused or busy when I do not have a family to raise either. If it were not for the pandemic, I might have found a place to volunteer. I do plan on looking into this further.

Anyhow, I finally decided I needed some sort of routine, even if it was simple. I am doing this and it has helped my mental status, although I do have chemo brain. I am accepting I have physical limitations due to neuropathy.

At the least, I take two ten minute walks, read for an hour and clean for at least twenty minutes.

Financially, all is well. It is cheap living at my dads. I also just got a huge discount on car insurance due to auto reform here in Michigan. My insurance is now half of what it was.

Next follow up with my oncologist is mid-September. I should remain NED (No evidence of disease) because I am on a PARP inhibitor. It was found I am BRCA 1. Breast cancer runs in my dad's side of the family (his mother's side). I was the first to get ovarian cancer though.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone. I have been keeping up with reading the blogs.

Stimulus Check

April 12th, 2020 at 01:34 pm

First and foremost, Happy Easter to all!

I think I will get a paper check for the stimulus since I paid in 2018 and 2019. So far, there is no way to give my direct deposit information. Anyhow, this is where it is all going.


$459 to pay 2019 federal taxes

$110 to pay 2019 state taxes

$31 buffer in checking account

$200 to pay off my credit card (I used it a bit before my disability kicked in).

$100 to my emergency fund.

The remaining $300 is going to sinking funds.

Hair/Wax-$20

Clothes/Shoes-$20

Electronics-$40

Car Maintenance-$40

Medical (includes Dental/Eye)-$60

Gifts-$40

Local Outings-$40

Travel-$40

Update

February 8th, 2020 at 04:28 pm

I haven't blogged in awhile. I typed an update a few weeks ago, but it disappeared when I went to post it.

I have my last chemo on Wednesday. I have been in the hospital several times including my 50th birthday. I had an abscess that is now a chronic wound. I have also had issues with clots.

Financially, I am holding my own. I am not working, but I have my inheritance from grandma to live off of for two more months. I filed for disability and get my first deposit in March. It only took a week to approve me. I guess stage 4 cancer will do that.

Thankfully, my prognosis is good so with any luck disability is temporary. It will be for awhile though. I have a wound vac for this wound which really limits me.

Health Update

October 2nd, 2019 at 01:55 pm

As many of you saw before we lost several months of the blogs (I hope that info returns), I found out I have ovarian cancer. I had a follow up appointment yesterday. It is stage 4, which initially devastated me. However, the doctor said because I had accumulated fluid around my lungs that had cancer cells, that put it above the midline. This automatically stages it at a four. The fluid was drained in the hospital. She said otherwise, based on what she saw, she would have staged it at a 2. She truly thinks she got it all. The reason for the chemo is to get small cells that may not be visible to the eye. I lost 23 pounds in four weeks. I needed it, so as long as it doesn't go down much more, I am happy as far as weight goes.

I get a chest port today. I get a stomach port on Friday. I start chemo next Wednesday. I have mentally prepared myself the best I can. I am going back to editing tomorrow which will help occupy my time.

I urge you if you ever get full after a few bites on a regular/semi-regular basis, start urinating too often and/or have bloating or breathing hard, insist on getting a CA 125 test. Regular blood tests and pap smears do not catch ovarian cancer. It spreads so quickly. My doctor agrees with me that my mass probably grew large within a 6 week period. My mass overtook my right ovary completely. The fallopian tube was not even visible. It spread over to my appendix.

Anyhow, on a positive note, things are moving in the right direction. Financially I am holding my own. Thank goodness I had moved in with my dad in June. It gives me much more of a cushion since my rent is cheap.

Another new job

March 22nd, 2019 at 03:09 pm

I took on another editing job. The first two days I really wondered if it was going to work out. This is more independent contracting work. However, the main company I edit for is more structured. I have a lot less guidance with the new company. I like the fact I have more flexibility, but it is quite a learning curve when you have little input. I think it will work out fine now that I have figured out a few things.

Based on the initial interview call, I thought I might only end up with $200-$500 more a month. However, it appears they gave me many more clients than we talked about. It looks like I may be giving up subbing. I only need to sub once a month to keep the insurance.

I will update again when I know more firm numbers.

Grateful

March 9th, 2019 at 01:27 am

I am so grateful to my generous family. My daughter brought my new baby granddaughter for a visit last weekend from NC. My dad knew I was sad the day they were leaving and bought me a ticket to go see her over spring break. It was a great deal at $125 round trip. He said it was a thank you for driving back and forth to take him on his trips so much lately.

Tonight my uncle officially booked my trip to Germany this fall to see my son. That was also a great deal through WOW Air. I head there in September.


I am not sure if I mentioned we did the car deal last week too. I sold mine to the dealer, and my dad used that money down on his new car. He gave me his 2013 Chevy Impala (with only 36500 miles). I offered to pay a few thousand since his was worth quite a bit more than my car, but he said we were even!

Another aunt of mine gave my daughter a belated baby shower last weekend too. We sure are lucky to have such great relatives!

Need Advice on Germany/Europe

February 23rd, 2019 at 05:49 pm

I know several of you fly to Europe fairly regularly. My generous aunt and uncle want to fly me to see my son in Germany this year. I am looking to go in September. I found a flight for $780 round trip including taxes and checked bags (From DTW). Is this a decent price?

I am only going for a week, so if I only can get to one other country, what would your recommend other than France (son and I have no interest)?

Thanks in advance!

"Free" Car!

February 13th, 2019 at 10:59 am

It feels like there will be school all summer at this point. Out of the last 13 school days, there has been school for 3 of those days. Needless to say my subbing income has been nearly non-existent. Thank goodness for increased editing and shopping.

On another note, my dad wants a new car. He has agreed to sell me his car for half of what its worth! It is a 2013 Chevy Impala with 36,500 miles. I am going to get it (after he buys the new car) for 3k! I should be able to sell mine for right around that, so in the end basically a new, free to me car! He also said I could wait to pay him until I move in with him in June so things are less tight for me with the lost income lately. I figure I will give him 1k up front anyhow and hang on to the rest of the sale of my car as a buffer until June.

I have some other potentially good money news, but I was sworn to secrecy. I am also not counting my chickens until they hatch!

Mystery Shopping Income Update

February 3rd, 2019 at 01:10 pm

I have been upping my game and doing more mystery shopping. I had really slowed down since late summer. I earned $413.50 in fees and $47 in reimbursements for January. This was for 41 shops. This is low because 70% of the shops were phone calls that were $7 each. They took 12 minutes on average, including the call and report. This money was earned in January, but much of it will be paid out in late February. I only worked for 7 companies. There are about 200 companies (not all have work in all areas), so there definitely is potential for a lot of income. I only traveled more than 3 miles for one shop (15 miles and that was because it brought on potential for more work in the future closer to home). Only two of the shops had bonuses.

For February, I have 13 shops scheduled so far with an income of $147 and $18 in reimbursements. I am not doing restaurant shops. My reimbursements are groceries, and one is for hardware. I hope to do about 50 shops total. Of course with winter, I don't schedule too far ahead. I will be working near home and by my dad's in the Detroit area. He is going to Florida and told me I could use his car while he is gone. So, I will watch the house and be able to do a lot of shopping in an area with more work (and little travel).




New Year's Etc.

January 4th, 2019 at 01:56 pm

My cousin and her son came up and spent three days with me at New Year's. It was fun, and I love her dearly. She has a heart of gold. However, she has zero control over money. She "tries" to be frugal. In the end whatever she saves on one thing, she spends on another. I bought pizza as planned and a "retirement fund" cute bank at the antique store which was a whole $2.12 after discounts. She bought doughnuts, Chinese, Chick Fil A, and something for her son and herself at the three antique stores we went to. She also bought a few items at Meijer. Mind you, we had planned the pizza and Chinese. It was plenty for all three days (and I offered to cook). However, she won't eat leftovers. Oh well, it's her business I guess. It's sad though because she makes very little money.

I am doing fairly well on my track to stay healthy. I did get beef and broccoli when we ordered Chinese. I got a small order and did not get rice with it. I only had two small pieces of pizza over two days. I sent almost half it home with my grandkids.

I set up mystery shops nearly every day to make more money and stay a little more active as well. I did two Goodwill shops this week and managed to get rid of some stuff as well as make money off the shops. I got rid of a bag of my mom's clothes and a bag full of freebies I never used.

Today I am doing a bank mystery shop and going to the state library to do some family history research. I have some editing work to do this evening when I get back.

2018 Financial Wins and Fails

December 29th, 2018 at 11:54 am

Here is my list to sum up the year:

Wins:

-Cash flowed Christmas

-Cash flowed Vegas trip

-Added to the Emergency fund regularly


Fails:

-Did not put enough in my IRA

-Did not pay off personal loan 2

-Did not use coupons as much as I should have

Sweet End to a Terrible Year

December 28th, 2018 at 01:10 pm

Just few days left of the year. Good riddance. I would love to burn the calendar on this one. However, it is ending on a sweet note. My granddaughter was born yesterday morning. This is my daughter's first (and she says last) baby. She was in labor for 31 hours all for it to end in a c-section. Mom and baby E are healthy though.

I can't wait to see the baby in person (daughter is in NC). I got plenty of pics, a video and a video chat yesterday though!

c=

2019 Goals

December 13th, 2018 at 12:32 pm

I am working on my 2019 goals. I may end up adding or tweaking, so I am not putting this on the sidebar yet. Here is what I have so far:

1. ) Sugar intake (processed)
Creamer only for sugar 6 days a week (I drink one cup of coffee a day). I am allowing myself one cheat day a week within reason.

2.) Minimum 20 minutes of exercise per day

3.) Read two books a month

4.) Limit Facebook to 15 minutes a day and YouTube to an hour a day (This has replaced some TV time. I watch financial videos for the most part.)

5.) Get rid of 150 items by May 15 (before I move)

6.) Buy an item, get rid of an item

7.) Save $100 per month through May in EF

8.) Add $150 per month to sinking funds


My financial situation will completely change after May. My lease is up at the end of May, and I will move in with my dad. He wants the company, and I would be crazy not to take him up on a $100 rent offer. Also, my grandmother's house is going up for sale on April 1st. At some point, I know I am getting some money. I just don't know how that is going to be distributed or how much. I will write up a more solid financial goal for the second half of the year when I have more info.

Christmas Shopping and Raises

December 4th, 2018 at 10:57 am

I am done Christmas shopping. I didn't have much to do since I did the Toys R Us haul this summer for the kids. I bought Alexa and a Fire Stick combo for my dad (my son is splitting this with me) and ornaments for my kids. We don't really do gifts for the adults generally, but I cheated a bit.

My bff does a LOT for me, so I wanted to do a gift for her family. I went to the local farmer's type market here (It is HUGE and has everything you can think of including a very large beer and wine selection). I got $40 worth of stuff (German beer and hard cider, cookies, salsa, bbq sauce) and put it in a wastebasket. Yes, a wastebasket. My bff loves A Christmas Story and I saw a leg lamp wastebasket, so I got it. I also included A Christmas Story Fudge in the basket.

All in all, I am not much into the holidays this year with my mom and grandma gone, but I am doing my best for the grandkids sake.

Other news on the financial front: I got a 4% raise for editing (yearly raise). I also just found out starting tomorrow the district I sub in the most raised the pay by $25 a day! That being said, the pay was pretty low before for regular day-to-day subbing. It is now a good rate (after all they require a degree).

Grandma passed away

November 26th, 2018 at 11:19 am

My grandmother passed away Saturday morning (exactly six weeks after my mom, her daughter). I am sad, but it was time. I hope she can rest in peace now. The funeral is tomorrow and then I will finally go home. I have been gone since the 10th.

There were seven of us staying with grandma for the last week of her life. We ended up with four Thanksgiving dinners due to family and friends. I am sad it was my grandma's declining health that brought on the situation, but otherwise I enjoyed spending time with my family last week.

I am not sure if I mentioned it, but during the conference in Vegas I negotiated more responsibilities with my company. I will square those away once I get home.

It has been one hell of a year. I can't wait for it to be over. However, it WILL end on a sweet note. My daughter is due on December 24th. I can't wait to meet my granddaughter!

Grandma Update

November 22nd, 2018 at 02:46 am

Vegas was great. I got home and spent last Friday with a friend. My grandma got considerably worse and I have been at her house staying with several family members since this past Saturday. It has been very hard watching her die a slow death. She is 91 and has had a long life. The upsetting part is having to see her die this way. It doesn't make it any easier that my mom died less than 6 weeks ago.

Regardless, I am thankful for my family. If there is anything positive in all of this is spending quality time with my family the last few days. I am also thankful my mom will have her own mother with her very soon. I hope you all have a peaceful Thanksgiving. I know it has been a tough few months for several of my SA friends.

Vegas Plan

November 6th, 2018 at 10:37 am

I leave for Vegas on Sunday morning. I am traveling alone. Most of the trip is already paid for including:

Conference ($125)
Hotel Room ($392 including resort fees and taxes)
Plane Ticket ($275)
Three Meals (Lunch on Mon and Tues are part of the conference, and our company's owner is covering dinner on Monday.)-FREE
Shuttle to and from airport ($26)
High Roller ($20)


I have $150 to spend, and I also have $15 in Starbucks cards to cover coffee. I figure this should be plenty for food, gambling and tipping. Forty of that is from the change I saved all summer for gambling, which is the limit for me. I don't plan on seeing any shows.

Sunday-Treat myself to brunch and the High Roller before checking in at the hotel. I will just relax Sunday night (I actually am responsible for editing that day). I will find a cheap dinner option for Sunday evening at the hotel food court.

Monday is all conference related and dinner with my coworkers.

Tuesday is also conference related. It would have been my mom's 70th birthday, so that is my gambling day in honor of her (She loved bingo, so I will do my best to find a bingo slot machine). I will gamble after the conference. I will keep dinner cheap that day too.

Wednesday-Walk the strip and enjoy the freebie entertainment at the different hotels. I also have to work that day. If I win anything gambling on Tuesday, I have told myself I can keep 25% for fun. Depending on what is left in the food budget, I may find a mid-range dinner option.

I head home on Thursday morning. I will let you know how the budget panned out when I return.

Healthcare

November 2nd, 2018 at 09:43 am

I have an indemnity plan through subbing that covers the ACA. It is mainly a preventative care program and covers very nominal amounts for a hospital stay or surgery ($300/$500 per day respectively). I have been looking into health sharing ministries for additional coverage. I found chministiries.org and am thinking of adding the Bronze level for $45 per month. This would cover inpatient and outpatient hospital care up to $125k after my out of pocket cost of $5k (which can be reduced if I negotiate discounts).

Thoughts?

The Latest

October 20th, 2018 at 12:18 pm

It is a week tonight since my mom passed. It's still surreal. I have been okay overall. I did cry a bit yesterday. I probably will today. I am going to see my dad. He picked up the ashes yesterday. Also, my nephew will be there, and I am sure he doesn't fully understand (autistic).

It's a long story, but my grandma was moved again. She is having a lot of behavior issues. The family is completely stressed out and has no clue what to do at this point. My uncle actually passed out at the hospital. Luckily, he is okay. They attributed it to the stress.

On a financial note, I have only spent on gas in over a week with the exception of two pumpkins for the grandkids yesterday ($6). I have lived on leftovers from last weekend this week. I will eat at my dad's all weekend. I will finally head to the grocery store on Monday when I get back home.

I am thankful I have a three and a half day weekend. Yesterday, it was bitter but we went to the apple orchard. My grandson was in a mood so with that and the weather it wasn't all that fun. I hope to spend a little time with friends in the Detroit area this weekend. I need the distraction!

Send prayers/good thoughts to my youngest. His road trip/visiting ends tomorrow and he heads to Germany for two years. I am excited for him but also sad he will be so far away.

Mom is Gone

October 14th, 2018 at 11:05 am

My mother was removed from the ventilator at 1:20 PM Friday afternoon. We were shocked she didn't pass within minutes. My oldest son (youngest had to get back on road for rest of trip before heading to Germany), daughter and I stayed the night. My oldest son finally went home with his family early afternoon yesterday. The kids needed to get back to some normalcy.

My dad left at six. He was exhausted. He said to call when we saw the vital signs deteriorate more. He lives within 5 minutes of the hospital. My daughter had went to my car to get something, and the monitor went haywire. I texted her to get right back and called my dad. He did not make it in time, but she did. We held my mom's hands as she took her last breaths. She died exactly one month before her 70th birthday.

It was a brutal last few days, and I am so very tired. I did sleep last night out of exhaustion. My daughter is going home tomorrow. I will spend the day with her and my dad. I will take one more day off school and go home tomorrow after taking her to the airport.

My dad is sad but doing fine overall. My mom has had health problems for a few years now. I honestly think he is relieved.

We had a family brunch yesterday while my daughter and my cousin were in town in honor of my mom. She didn't want a funeral service.

My grandma is having major behavior issues lately so we have decided not to tell her for now. It's tough thinking of keeping this from her. However, we don't want to move her again if she becomes too out of control for this facility.

Anyhow, I wanted to post an update. I appreciate all the nice comments and your support on the last post.

Worst Day of My Life

October 11th, 2018 at 04:47 am

I came home from school and found out my mother had a massive stroke. She is on a ventilator, and we are holding off on removing anything until my daughter gets here from NC tomorrow night (and she is nearly 7 months pregnant). This is all so surreal, and I feel like I am in the middle of nightmare.

At least my youngest was still here on leave from the Air Force. It is also my oldest son's birthday.


The family has also decided to tell my grandma. She is with it enough to understand, but I am sure she will forget it by the next day.

First Week Done-Not What I Expected

September 23rd, 2018 at 02:05 pm

Well, I bit off more than I can chew. I have been working until after 10 PM each night and get back up at 5:30. I even work while eating dinner, and one night I completely forgot about it.

The school is a good school, and the students are good overall. There are no major issues with the kids. However, the expectation seems to be I will come in about an hour before school starts and stay an hour after, for a grand total of $150 per day. I am also the only one without a planning period. I am also expected to be at conferences for an additional three hours twice this week (no extra money). The department head even asked me if there was any way I could meet with him on the weekend to plan ahead.

The good news is I work for the staffing company and not the school. If I leave, I still have my regular subbing available in several school districts.


The question is how long to risk my health and sanity. The job is posted for a regular teacher, but no bites so far. This is the best district in the area too. It pays decent for someone who would be hired through the district itself (it would be closer to $200 per day).

I am not sure what I will do. This school runs in trimesters, and this one ends right at my Vegas vacation. By the way, they indicated they aren't thrilled about it. However, I was upfront about it and told them it was a conference for my other job and already paid for.

My hope is someone will apply and get hired to step in for the second trimester. The extra income is nice, but I am not thrilled working 14-15 hour days (I also work 6-8 hour days on the weekends in general with my other job).

What makes me most sad is I will barely see my son when he visits before going to Germany for two years. I am going home right after school the week he is here, and I don't care who gets upset.

I knew what I was getting into...to a point. I planned on coming in early OR staying late but not both. I was hoping to sit and grade/plan at home for the most part. I also expected since I came in the fifth week of school to get a little more guidance/help than I have.

On a good note, I am loving the new responsibilities with my editing job.

Okay enough complaining. Thanks for letting me vent.

Work, Work, Work...

September 15th, 2018 at 03:02 pm

In addition to the new teaching job, I got offered more responsibility with my editing job. I am adding an hourly position which will consume about 8 hours per week. I took this because it is interesting, and the teaching job could end at any point. However, I will have practically zero free time.

Since I want to keep saving more for retirement, replace my car and buy a home within the next two years, every extra dime will go to these goals.

After I get a couple paychecks, I will add the savings to my sidebar. I need to pay off this personal loan as well. If I pay as usual, it would be paid off near the end of February. At this point, I want it paid off no later than Thanksgiving.

New Job

September 13th, 2018 at 10:08 pm

I've said it before, jobs tend to fall in my lap. It happened again. I was on the website looking for what was available for subbing next week. There was a note that one of the local high schools was looking for an English Teacher/long-term sub. I called and within 2 hours had an interview with a follow up interview today. I got the job. I start on Tuesday. It could go a few weeks or all year. That is up in the air. The pay rate is double what a regular day-to-day sub gets.

I am going to live on my regular budget. I will pay off my personal loan by the end of next month. The rest of the extra will go to savings for the summer months and my IRA.

It will be a challenge. The students are on week 4 and have different subs in nearly every day. However, it's a great district, so I am hopeful it will turn out fine!

P.S. My daughter's flight made it here with no issues! I will let you know what damage her area gets.

The Calm Before the Storm

September 11th, 2018 at 12:09 pm

Over the last couple of days I could comment but not log in. I know someone else mentioned having this issue recently. Anyhow, it is working now.

This past two weeks has been a roller coaster. Grandma did not adjust to the assisted living and is in a hospital awaiting a permanent placement. The dementia is getting a lot worse. I hope they find a placement asap. It is so sad and frustrating.

My mom's health is declining as well, but I will hold those details for a future post.

My youngest son called last Wednesday. He was supposed to be home on leave this weekend. They changed it last minute, and now he is in Georgia training for three weeks first. He had to pack up and get there in two days, but he made it fine. I think he is far enough south to not have too many issues from the hurricane (coastal GA).

My daughter is in the direct path of the hurricane. They are under mandatory evacuation this morning. She is in NC near the SC border, just a little north of Myrtle Beach. Thankfully, they are renting a furnished place. I have no doubt their place will be gone if it stays on the current path (and intensity). They removed their personal belongings last night. She is just under 6 months pregnant. She called her doctor who said she was okay to fly if the flight was under 4 hours. She booked a one way tomorrow (Pray the flight gets out!) for only $160. I worry about her DH who is a lineman and will work up to 18 hours days, not to mention have to go through the storm. I am thankful her mother-in-law who lives inland is storing their stuff, her car and watching their dog.

So yes, I am incredibly stressed. However, I am also excited to see my daughter this week (Her birthday is Thursday too!) and my son in a few weeks. I wish they could have been here at the same time, but I will take what I can get. My grandkids (via my oldest who lives by me) are going to get two major surprises because they have no clue of either visit. I cannot wait to see their faces!

Thinking of CCF and everyone else who has to weather the storm. Stay safe and let us know you are okay when you can.

Financial Update

September 1st, 2018 at 03:08 pm

I paid $145 to the IRS in August. I will pay it off later this week when I get my final check for caring for grandma. I am plugging along with the personal loan.


Last month, I also cashed out for a $3 Dunkin Donuts card and a $25 Amazon gift card through Swagbucks.

On the health front, now that I am going to be home on a regular basis, I hope to get in the pool at least five days a week for at least a half hour.

I am toying with the idea of purchasing a house in 2019. I am not sure it is feasible, but I am getting my ducks in a row. I want a small home with a mortgage of no more than $80,000. I should be able to do this in the town I have targeted. If not 2019, I should be able to do it in 2020. I will keep you all posted.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend!

Financial Accomplishments

August 17th, 2018 at 01:13 pm

My grandma's habit when she had her faculties was to go to the bank at the beginning of the month. She would pay her bills, put a little in savings and pull out cash for her groceries and spending. She was responsible when it came to her finances.

I wanted to use the money I was paid for her care wisely. She worked hard to earn this money. I wanted to know she would be proud of me. I accomplished the following from April through now.

-Cash flowed car repairs/maintenance

-Cash flowed new laptop (definitely a need)

-Cash flowed Vegas trip coming up in November (business other than the last day is for pleasure)

-Saved $1000

-Saved an additional $300 for loss of income during trip to Vegas

-Paid off a personal loan and the IRS and have made a large dent in another personal loan

-Added an additional $50 per month in my IRA

I am satisfied with where the money went, and I hope she would be too.

Changes are Coming

August 15th, 2018 at 01:59 pm

My time caring for my grandma is coming to an end. Unfortunately, she has had a large decline in the last week. She no longer recognizes her home and is getting feisty because we won't take her home. My aunt found a beautiful assisted living facility. She will be going there September 1st.

I will readjust my September budget. School will be starting, so I am sure by mid September subbing will be in full gear. I am also being given a two week severance.

I will pay the IRS off and put an extra month's rent in savings beyond what I already have saved. This will leave the personal loan and student loans. I have to talk to them as I was due to readjust my income based payments.

I am going to start booking more mystery shopping for September too. However, I do plan on taking it easy and working a light schedule the first week. I need to recoup.

Be careful what you research

July 23rd, 2018 at 02:09 pm

About six weeks ago, I started researching my mother's family. I knew my paternal grandfather divorced my grandmother and allowed her second husband (who I always considered my grandfather) to adopt the kids. As I have taken care of grandma, one of my aunts and I have become very close. She filled in a couple of missing names for me. I ran with it and found out more than I bargained for. Apparently, I have a knack for this. For less confusion, biological grandfather is H. from this point, and the man I knew as my grandfather is E.

-My mom and her siblings have a half brother and sister via H. There was a rumor he might have more kids, but no one knew for sure or where to look. It took four weeks but after I finally found out their mother's maiden name, I found them. There is no doubt. I have seen their photos and have solid proof H. is their father. They live in the south.

-H. who was a jerk, was also a narcissist. He named his second son a Jr. My uncle (from first marriage, my mom's full brother) was also a jr. (although they renamed him during the adoption). Who names two kids the same name?

-H. died in the 70s of cancer. His second wife never divorced him. I wonder what she knew. I assume nothing. She seemed pretty religious.

-I am pretty sure my grandma and H. were never legally married. I can find no records, but I found his record of signing up for the service. He is listed as single, yet this was just a few months before my uncle was born. The marriages of the year they were supposedly married are public in our state, but there is nothing.

-Onto my grandfather, E. He had two kids too. There was a rumor of this but we were all told he was sterile and figured their mother lied about it. However, I found them too and I have seen photos. I would bet money they are E.'s biological kids.

-E.'s two biological kids were born during his marriage to my grandmother. They live locally.

-Yesterday, I was quite upset to find E. married the biological kids mom FOUR weeks before he married my grandma (This is via the actual county record). So, my grandfather who I idolized was a bigamist. He married them in two different states which I guess is why it was never found out.

So here I am full of info and not sure what to share and not share with my family. My aunt feels it is a dishonor to my grandma to say anything while she is living even though she has dementia. She wants to share after she passes. I feel my mom and other siblings have a right to know there is another brother and sister via H.. However, I don't know if I want everyone to know E. was a bigamist. Was the adoption even legal for that matter if he married the other wife a month before my grandma? The adoption was two years later. And who the hell adopts four kids, treats them like gold and has two biological kids he doesn't bother with for the most part? On a side note, my aunt said there was rumor he used to eat breakfast once a month with the biological daughter.

My aunt has the marriage certificate of grandma and E. and it looks fake. It probably was. I am so sad. My poor grandma was duped twice.

What would you want to know if this was your history? I am struggling with this info and what to keep between me and my aunt and what to share. I will probably delete this post in a couple of days to be on the safe side, but I felt I needed unbiased opinions.






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