Family Confession
August 26th, 2014 at 12:37 pm I haven't really written about my husband for two reasons. One, although I don't share this blog with anyone in the real world, if they went looking, it wouldn't be too difficult to find. Two, I don't want to make him sound like a total loser and put him down. However, I have come to a point that if I don't share somewhere, I will break down completely.
I love him and overall he is a good guy. This is a second marriage for both of us. I give him and his ex a lot of credit. They married young and had three kids by the time they were 22. Despite the odds being against them, they both got a college education and stayed together until the youngest was 16. And my husband always worked two jobs.
As far as he and I go, we will have been married six years (anniversary is in a few days) and have known each other for 14 years. It is his lack of work ethic that is slowly destroying our marriage. To make a very long story shorter, after thinking long and hard, his jobs were always handed to him. All of them were through someone he knew. Now he is in a position that he doesn't have the connections and therefore isn't finding work. The big issue is the lack of effort.
He is a substitute teacher and has no other job. I am ashamed to even type the fact that he made just over $9000 last year. He has not brought home a check at all since June. Every time I get ahead, I have to dip into savings because I am basically supporting the household.
We talk about jobs and there is the excuse that he isn't being called (I don't even know how often he is really applying) or that it is overnight and he can't do it, blah, blah, blah. To make matters worse, it seems his family feels sorry for him because he was diagnosed with prostrate cancer three years ago. Mind you, it is not affecting his health whatsoever.
I get so angry because this is an easy fix in my opinion. I don't care if I make more, I just want him to get some kind of full-time job (even two good part-time jobs would suffice). He has nothing if I tell him to leave. He has ruined his credit (I refuse to pay his old credit card bills or his student loans). I don't get how an educated person who worked hard for so many years just gives up.
What is putting me over the edge is he is enjoying a week long vacation courtesy of his son. Meanwhile, I am working three jobs this week. I am going to Michigan for the weekend, but that is mainly due to getting my flight nearly free (cc deal) and I am spending one of those days working. I am not sure it's worth the effort of trying to save the marriage any longer. We really don't have the money for a counselor and I am not even sure I could even fit one into my schedule.
I "think" I have decided to give him an ultimatum after we are both back from our travels. I just have to decide the time table. Kicking him out during the winter seems harsh. To top it off, I own both of our cars. Do I give him one (it's paid off but he wouldn't be able to pay me for it) or save it for my son who will be driving next summer (My son is not his biological son)?
Anyhow, thanks for "listening" while I dump my feelings.