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Home > Archive: August, 2014

Archive for August, 2014

Family Confession

August 26th, 2014 at 04:37 am

I haven't really written about my husband for two reasons. One, although I don't share this blog with anyone in the real world, if they went looking, it wouldn't be too difficult to find. Two, I don't want to make him sound like a total loser and put him down. However, I have come to a point that if I don't share somewhere, I will break down completely.

I love him and overall he is a good guy. This is a second marriage for both of us. I give him and his ex a lot of credit. They married young and had three kids by the time they were 22. Despite the odds being against them, they both got a college education and stayed together until the youngest was 16. And my husband always worked two jobs.

As far as he and I go, we will have been married six years (anniversary is in a few days) and have known each other for 14 years. It is his lack of work ethic that is slowly destroying our marriage. To make a very long story shorter, after thinking long and hard, his jobs were always handed to him. All of them were through someone he knew. Now he is in a position that he doesn't have the connections and therefore isn't finding work. The big issue is the lack of effort.

He is a substitute teacher and has no other job. I am ashamed to even type the fact that he made just over $9000 last year. He has not brought home a check at all since June. Every time I get ahead, I have to dip into savings because I am basically supporting the household.

We talk about jobs and there is the excuse that he isn't being called (I don't even know how often he is really applying) or that it is overnight and he can't do it, blah, blah, blah. To make matters worse, it seems his family feels sorry for him because he was diagnosed with prostrate cancer three years ago. Mind you, it is not affecting his health whatsoever.

I get so angry because this is an easy fix in my opinion. I don't care if I make more, I just want him to get some kind of full-time job (even two good part-time jobs would suffice). He has nothing if I tell him to leave. He has ruined his credit (I refuse to pay his old credit card bills or his student loans). I don't get how an educated person who worked hard for so many years just gives up.

What is putting me over the edge is he is enjoying a week long vacation courtesy of his son. Meanwhile, I am working three jobs this week. I am going to Michigan for the weekend, but that is mainly due to getting my flight nearly free (cc deal) and I am spending one of those days working. I am not sure it's worth the effort of trying to save the marriage any longer. We really don't have the money for a counselor and I am not even sure I could even fit one into my schedule.

I "think" I have decided to give him an ultimatum after we are both back from our travels. I just have to decide the time table. Kicking him out during the winter seems harsh. To top it off, I own both of our cars. Do I give him one (it's paid off but he wouldn't be able to pay me for it) or save it for my son who will be driving next summer (My son is not his biological son)?

Anyhow, thanks for "listening" while I dump my feelings.

Spiraling Out of Control Financially

August 15th, 2014 at 04:06 am

Things have spiraled out of control financially this month. The summer is slower at tutoring to begin with, but to make matters worse I had a small chain of rotten situations take place. I had two parents bounce checks, which is really awful considering I live in a fairly wealthy area. I also had a teacher of all people not pay me at all. I am really angry at myself over that one. I always take payments up front, but since it was a teacher and her tutoring situation was unique (help with the new version of the Praxis test) I had to decide what to charge her and how many hours she would be tutored. Therefore, I told her she could pay at the end. In the end, I gave her a very fair price figuring she could recommend our services at school. I sent her an invoice and left her voice mails and she has ignored me completely. On her last day of tutoring, she was so grateful for how much I helped her. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

Anyhow, all of this has forced me to dip into my personal emergency fund to pay for overhead the last two weeks. In summary, I didn't have a lot of savings for the business because it was started last year as a last minute decision after the tutoring company I worked for shut down with nearly no warning. It's been a good year overall, but our first one. Many yearly costs (insurance, LLC, etc) renew this month. I also had to give up taking a paycheck this month.

Adding to the issues, my hubby and I already had separate vacations planned and paid for this month. His son bought him a ticket to see him in Seattle. However, he will still need bus fare to get back and forth from the Boston airport (our trips overlap and is flying at odd hours so a local ride from friends or family won't work) and money for eating on the trip. I had bought a plane ticket to go to see family in Michigan Labor Day weekend (I literally got notice of the two bounced checks two days after paying for my plane ticket). Fortunately, my costs will be nearly nil. I will stay with family and most of my meals will be paid for. I picked up a couple of mystery shops for restaurants while I am there too.

I really need to update all my financials here. I am embarrassed to do so because it won't be pretty. I will wait until I return from Michigan to see exactly where everything stands at that point.